I have four kids aged two to ten. Three of them have attention and auditory processing issues and my oldest has issues with impulsiveness along with her ADHD. Dealing with her discipline issues has not been easy and those issues are compounded with my ineffective parenting and all three of my oldest children respond disrespectfully to not getting their way.Obviously I am not doing a good job of teaching them that we don’t get everything we want in life. It’s not that I give in all the time because that is not the case. My problem is that I am not consistent and I let them negotiate which are two huge no-no’s in effective parenting. I know better but sometimes I’m tired or busy and it’s easier to give in.
Let me be an example of what not to do. You can’t give in. Ever.
James Lehman understands ineffective parenting and has created The Total Transformation Program; a parent’s program for managing challenging behaviors in children.
The Total Transformation Program is a simple step-by-step multi-media program that comes to you on DVD and CD with an interactive workbook.
The program includes:
- Jump Start DVD
- Parent’s Workshop DVD with live question and answer session
- 7 audio lessons on CD
- 118-page workbook
James Lehman recommends taking one lesson each week because it will be too difficult to learn all the techniques if you hurry the program.
I started with the Jump Start DVD then took the pre-tests in the workbook where the questionnaires helped me identify the behaviors of my kids that I need to focus on with the program. I also learned what are my ineffective roles that fail to promote responsibility, accountability or change. I was not at all surprised that I fit the Over-Negotiator and The Martyr parenting roles. The question is how do I change it?
James Lehman knows how to transform ineffective parenting roles into effective ones. The skills he teaches in the program are excellent and make sense to me. I especially like his analogy about how adults are expected to follow laws just as kids should be expected to follow the family rules. One of his examples is when he received a speeding ticket. The policeman gave him his ticket and walked away. There wasn’t any negotiating. He broke the law and the ticket was the consequence. That was an a-ha moment for me among many as I did the program lessons.
The program also helped me change ineffective parenting styles with my toddler such as responding to a tantrum in a way that teaches her that she is responsible for her behavior. And no negotiating!
What I liked best about the program was the 7 audio lessons. I listened to them over and over in the car. Listening to what James has to say makes so much sense to me and I absorb the information better than just reading it in the workbook.
I also like the “A Note From James” sections in the workbook about his real life scenarios with his clients and how their behavioral issues were solved.
The Total Transformation Program also has a parental support line that is only $1 for the first 30 days. I never used it but I came close in the first weeks of the program. One of my daughters was very resistant to her consequence of being sent to her room. She stood at the door and whined about being hungry, called out repeatedly about how many more hours, minutes, seconds she would have to stay in her room or begged to be let out with the promise to act better. She was relentless. We continued to ignore her and eventually she gave up and went to bed. I’m not sure if we handled it right but she at least learned that we gave a consequence and stuck to it.
The biggest downside to the program is the cost at $327 which seems a bit steep to me. Fortunately they offer a 30 day trial and 100% guaranteed satisfaction so if you don’t see a dramatic difference in your child and in your confidence as a parent, send it back and you’ll never be charged for the program. You’ll pay only for shipping and handling.
The flip-side is if you have unmanageable kid that you fear is one step away from a mugshot then the hefty price may be worth it.
This review was made possible by The Parent Bloggers Network.
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