I haven’t been able to log into our bank accounts online for several months. Today, I found out why.

My husband and I have been using our bank’s online banking services for several years. We have joint bank accounts (and joint everything else), so we share the same ATM card, pin numbers, passwords, etc. About a year ago, our bank notified us that we needed to create unique and separate usernames and log-in’s for our online banking, even if we share accounts. I promptly ignored that message, and every message thereafter. It’s none of their business if we share account information, I thought.

Then a few months ago, I wasn’t able  to access our accounts online. I fired off an email to my husband at work, chiding him for changing our passwords without telling me. He said he didn’t, and when he came home, he logged into our accounts with no trouble.

It happened again a few weeks later, and I sent my husband another email to work. Then I forgot about it, and so did he. It happened to me one night while he was sleeping, so I left him a note. He got up in the morning and left me a note that he didn’t have any trouble logging into the account. (This is the point in the movie where the unsuspecting wife becomes a cliche and discovers that her husband has used all their money to support his French-speaking girlfriend). I made a mental note to insist that he sit next to me while I tried to log into the accounts the next time. Then I forgot, clearly not too worried about the French girlfriend thing.

Today, it happened again while my husband was napping. I promptly woke him and insisted he sit next to me while I tried to log in. It didn’t work. I insisted he contact the bank. He did.

Apparently, our banking is using Keystroke Dynamic Technology, and since my husband created the online account, it recognizes HIS keystroke dynamics and thinks I’m an interloper. HIS keystrokes are much kinder (slower) and gentler (slower). According to my family, my keystrokes sound like a rapid-fire machine gun.

The rapid-fire part comes from a) the fact that my Mom made me take two years of typing in high school and b) the fact that I make my living as a writer so I type all the time and don’t have time to do it slowly.

The machine-gun part comes from the fact that a) I learned to type on a manual typewriter and b) I completed part of my journalism degree on a IBM Selectric that had sticky keys. And yes — I often still put two spaces after a period. Old habits die hard!

But back to keystroke dynamics. My husband had an “online chat” with our bank’s nerds technical support and “Andre” said that sometimes the Keystroke Dynamics Technology can sense a difference in computer keyboards (e.g. laptop versus desktop) and that can cause the login to be rejected. He also said:

“Members need to be consistent in the way they type their username and password. If you typically type with two hands and then switch to typing with one hand, the system will not let you log in. Other reasons your keystorek dynamics could cause a log in failure:  An injury that changes the way you type and any other change in mental/physical state that could affect how you type.”

Great! That’s just great! So now, even though I’ve created my own account that will learn to recognize my machine-gun rapid-fire typing dynamic, I’ll still get locked out of my account for about four days every month!

Popularity: 1% [?]

Welcome back!

Posts like this

• Easiest Slideshow I EVER Made